A FAIRY TALE (WITH A COUPLE OF MYTHS THROWN IN)

Once upona time, there was a young girl who loved to sew. She purchased a brand new sewing machine with her first paycheck and things went along superbly for 30 odd years (some more odd than others). She rarely cleaned her machine, or had it serviced or oiled it or changed the needles, but Old Faithful kept plodding along taking the girl on many journeys through complex dresses made out of silk, fat bulky curtains, over blobs of painted surfaces, foil and did every single task she asked of it.
Then the girl grew up, married a bad tempered old toad, cunningly disguised as a charming Prince, had four babies and sewed and sewed on Old Faithful throughout. Sadly, the girl (woman now) had a nasty accident at her work, but she did receive some money for her injuries. So, she thought "I think I will buy a new sewing machine, a bit fancier than OF, but probably the same make as OF has been remarkably reliable for over 30 years."
The woman bought a fully computerised version of OF which automatically cut her threads, calculated her button holes, had thousands of embroidery patterns and a memory to record them, could work three different alphabets, needled up and down and basically could almost cook dinner, feed the dog and clean the house.
The woman loved the new machine - BUT within a month, something strange started to happen. Now and then, for no particular reason the machine would start to stammer and stutter and then - the bobbin case would lurch out of its position, frequently causing the needle to jam down into the case itself. This was very scary, especially when a message on the computer display screen would say Stop For Safety Purposes. So, the woman marched the machine straight back where she had purchased it (for over $1800!) and explained her problem. To cut a very long and ongoing saga to its nuts and bolts, the woman was made to feel that this had never ever been experienced by any other purchasers of that model (a lie, it was later discovered after a careful internet search), that the problem only occurred for her (maybe she was being too rough?) and after the 79th return to the store, it was sent to the mechanic, who (surprise) found it faultless. Next time the problem recurred the woman was shown how to jam the bobbin case into the machine in such a way that it would be less likely to escape its casing.
That seemed to sort things out for a while, but occasionally the problem crept back, which caused the woman to name the machine You Uncooperative Bitch. Every time she sat down at the machine, she felt nervous and frequently sewed at very low speeds to avoid hiccups. For the next three years, the woman persisted with the machine - carefully cleaning it after every use, changing needles at the drop of a hat and so forth. YUB was handled with kid gloves, but the problems persisted and started to multiply - now YUB would just keep sewing after her foot was removed from the pedal, sometimes for a full minute or two. The woman had very crumbly bones that kept breaking all the time and sitting at the machine became an arduous and painful task for her.
Finally, she reached the limit of her patience and marched into the store, determined to get a satisfactory outcome - i.e. agreement that the machine was a lemon and should have been replaced under warranty in the very first place. The toffee nosed madam who owned the franchise recommended she "upgrade to the next model" (HMMMMM - why would she not suggest a replacement of like for like) that she explained cost over $2000. She looked haughtily at the woman's machine and said she could only offer $400 as a trade in value as YUB was well worn by now (and had problems that would hinder its resale). The woman drew a deep breath and explained that was unsatisfactory and that she felt the company should honour its warranty. Toffee Nose said that warranty issues were handled by the mechanic, offered to call him but said that the company would just want to "fix" the machine. She phoned the mechanic who was busy but would call her back and disappeared into the back room. The woman waited, resisted the temptation to either burst into tears or pick up the nearest heavy object (and there were several close by) and implant it in Toffe Nose's brain. Luckily, the anti-depressant medication was working well that day or another ugly scene may have ensued, similar to one several years back when a clerk threatened to call the police. The woman was the only customer in the store and she noted that the other two retail assistants were making a huge production of looking extremely busy with "stuff" and avoided eye contact. Finally the woman said very calmly but very loudly "Well, I have things to do. I can leave that matter with you, can I? You will call me and let me know." Toffee Nose miraculously appeared from the depths of the back room and tried not to seem too relieved that the woman was going. She even offered to send the machine to the mechanic for an opinion and offered the woman the loan of a machine - a version of OF, no less! A plan was forming in the woman's head. She had lost faith in the company (let's call them Company X) and decided she would inform them in writing about this and the reasons for her extreme disappointment. In the meantime, she might just see what Company Y could offer, as Company Y had been recommended as being a work horse.
The woman has been delighted by using the newer version of OF which does everything she asks of it, even though it has not been oft cleaned or serviced either. Also, despite having a brand new fracture of one of the larger ribs at the upper back, she has been able to sew for quite lengthy periods and even to write a longish posting on her blog - something YUB rarely permitted her.
Notice, dear reader, no names, no pack drill - at this stage. HOWEVER, if the response to the woman's complaint is poor - there will be plenty of naming of names for sure.

LITTLE THINGS THAT ARE DONE

Ta da!! I have finished hand embroidering the burnt piece I was working on, mounted and framed it with an old frame I hotglued some shells from Broome onto.

This is just an indulgent photo of my youngest grandson, Kieran, who thinks it hilarious to crawl away from his grandmother as soon as he is removed from the bath. Look at those gorgeous curls!
Now, my news and what has kept me from this blog. I have had some baddish news from the bone specialist that they have not managed to stop the deterioration of my skeleton. I kind of knew anyway from the level of the pain. God help me, I appear to have now passed the skeletal age of 95!!! So, it now becomes a matter of priority for me to move into a much smaller residence which means this house must be sold. That of course means that I have to carefully remove any trace of personality and (shock horror) colour and neutralise to appeal to the mass buyer market of bland loving home owners. I have started by painting out the glorious purple with pearlised swirls in my bedroom and have replaced it with a pale green, actually not so bad, almost a duck egg blue. Today I painted the back toilet and the laundry room in the same colour. Both were pains as there was so much to be taped out. Anyway, I have given myself a year to get this done and a year to find a new place. I am in discussions with my daughter and son-in-law about possibly building a "granny flat" at their place. Maybe, we shall see.

SPECS CASE

Here are images of the spectacles case that I promised to post. I bought this in Broome at the Monsoon Gallery - no idea who the artist is otherwise I would acknowledge, but I got rid of the packaging. The website is :www.monsoongallery.com.au and I am sure they could give more information about the artist. The middle photo shows the front, right is the back and to the left is the inner workings part that shows lining and a large thingo (press studs we sometimes call them). Pieces of monotoned shiny/sparkly fabric have been joined diagonally into a rectangular shape, with some embellishment in the form of yarn and beads. Some of the individual pieces have been irregularly ruched to give texture. Pics don't do it justice, really. Do go to the website, she (the artist) had some stunning pieces in the gallery - it was a question of what I could afford really.

YES - IT'S OFFICIAL!

I am definitely in love with this whole thing! And thanks so much for the boost Arlee! May good things come your way (tee hee).

Here's where I am at, having had to FORCE myself to stop this afternoon. I am doing a bit of mulling about embellishment and I feel it needs a frame of some kind.

Now, just a little tip for any would be pyros out there. Of course you know that the fumes are somewhat toxic and one should of course wear a mask. I was evah so careful about this, but annoyed to find that every time I did this I got an instant migraine from the chemically pong. Determined not to let this small hazard deter moi, I approached a friendly gent at the hardware and divulged some (but not all) of my dilemma. He said I should be using a P2 rated face mask, which are a bit more expensive than the cheapie ones at the supermarket, but still paper and so worth it if you suffer like me. Bit of a shame in a way really, I used to get the same side effect from using chemical oven cleaner - hence abandoned the practice of cleaning said oven entirely. I also pretended not to know thing one about green cleaning, which of course I can do and I think is way better. Now I really cannot profer this excuse any more.

Appropos of nothing, weird dream last night that the nun who taught me Art and English in High School had left a comment on my blog abhorring my spelling! All I was scared about (and I was scared) was the swear words she had come across. And of course now I am getting paranoid about my spelling!

I THINK I'M SERIOUSLY IN LOVE.....

...with this technique! Early days, I know but I'm loving how the burning process intensifies the depth of colour and of course turning these strips of sheer into crispy critters is satisfying in a creepy way of itself. This is the jump off inspiration for what I am creating:

LOVING THIS? - NOT SO MUCH

I don't know what it is, but I cannot seem to fall in love with this piece (hence the pins that might be visible in the outside trim will most likely stay there!) The other night, unable to sleep, for some bizarre reason I frenetically worked on this the whole night and by the end had the most hideous migraine. I even had taken it outside, pegged it to my clothesline and, with a cigarette lighter, set fire to the layered sheer pieces that I had sewn on. Whilst a great deal of fun, I just keep getting that Nyah feeling. A good outcome, though, was that my brain engineered a new set of ideas, partly inspired by that piece of arson and fanned by reading through a back issue of QA (number - do you think I can find that sucker? It's probably under my bed!) Anyway, it's the one about using strips of sheer fabric abused with a heat gun and attached to a background to form a kind of picture or scene, heavily embroidered and embellished as appropriate. Aha! Perfect methinks for my Broome series (?) as I have been enamoured of sheers for yonks and often fiddle with em. My latest preoccupation with layering even had me creating all kinds of trendy ruffles made out of spirals of sheer fabric. I like that effect too, but I am pretty keen on this newie! To the relief of one and all I even splurged on a gas fuelled heat gun today at the hardware store, where I also had to purchase mulch as it was so warm today that it would have been criminal not to be in the garden and we are expecting rain tonight, so my decks will be cleared after my babysitting duties of the day. I am also labouriously attempting some silk paper creating. I say labourious because I am literally deconstructing pieces of silk fabric down to the thread. It is perfect zoned out work at the end of the day.

PS I found it. The QA issue is 24 (it was sitting face down right in front of me!) and the article is called "Sheer Landscape" by Inche Berlyn.

VERY SLOW WIP

These are the very beginnings of a work focussed on the amazing geology of Broome.

As I am experiencing God awful pain sitting at my sewing machine for lengthy periods (hope this is not a taste of things to come), I am hand sewing the layers. It is very tedious and at this rate I will finish in about 25 years, so I need to start rethinking how I work - more heat and burning, more painting and perhaps using paper?
I have a shameful admission. I spent most of the morning howling my eyes out while watching the early morning TV news which has been tragically focussed on the fate of a baby humpback whale whose mummy abandoned it in Sydney Harbour. Poor thing, named Colin, has been trying to suckle from larger boats in the harbour. As Australians, we are very sooky la la about whales - we tend not to see them as main course as in other cultures. Our experience in the West is of them frolicking off our coastline as they migrate up and down from the Pole. We consider them beautiful, amazing creatures - not pests. Hence, there has been enormous public hue and cry about the fate of poor Colin. Vets have been called in to see if they could try to keep him alive by artificial feeding - a bit like what they did in the States with a similar species. Apparently, the difficulty for poor old Col is that he would need krill in his diet, especially at weaning time and that in massive amounts daily would need to be obtained from the Antarctic. Also, there is no way to know why his mum abandoned him in the first place and so, ideally he should eventually join another pod as he gets older, but scientist think it highly unlikely he would be accepted and more likely that he would be attacked by other whales. The worst part, I think, is that the media seems obsessed with showing us endless footage of this poor baby suckly dead old boats and of course we watch it with inevitable horrified fascination. Anyway, the decision has been made to end his suffering as he is starving to death, weak and in a lot of pain, having been attacked by sharks when they tried to take him out to deeper water. Oh my nature is certainly harsh sometimes.